Valley of the Dolls

My head is caving in. Seriously. Implosion is imminent. ALLERGIES! This vog is no good for me. So what do I do? I pop some pills and read The Onion. They both help. Know what I found? This mug, compliments of The Onion Store, with my number one confession:


"I often make light of my chemical dependence on caffeine." Yes, indeedy. Chemicals are what's keeping me conscious right now. My sister just reminded me to go get some Magic Nose Spray. YAY, Magic Nose Spray... how could I have forgotten?!? I must need more chemicals. Yeah, that's it.